Liz Foster ’22
Bits & Pieces Editor
As the great Kanye West once said, “In a French ass restaurant, hurry up with my damn croissant.” At the ripe hour of 1:30 P.M. on this Sunday afternoon, I embodied the great spirit of Mr. West. However, I was not dining at the likes of Le Jules Verne or Au Pied de Cochon, but rather an American staple: Dunkin’ Donuts. The Massachusetts-based company is an essential piece of New England culture, a tried and true palace of breakfast treats and caffeinated beverages for the unwashed masses across the North Eastern United States.
Croissants are no stranger at Dunkin’ Donuts; in fact, any breakfast sandwich can be served on a croissant rather than on a bagel. In my personal and professional opinion, the quintessential Dunkin order is as follows: a bacon, egg, and cheese on an everything bagel with a medium iced coffee sweetened with caramel and a splash of oat milk. The combination functions as a tried and true hangover cure, or at the very least something that will get you through the next few hours until a “real” meal comes along. In an effort to escape the rat race and avoid living in a Groundhog Day of bacon, egg, and cheeses, I chose to switch things up and order one of Dunkin’s newest menu additions: The Chicken Croissant Sandwich.
Per the restaurant’s website, the sandwich “features a warm, flaky croissant sandwiching a breaded chicken filet, cherrywood-smoked bacon and American cheese.” At available locations, guests can also receive a side of Buttermilk Ranch sauce for their dipping and spreading pleasure. As I pulled the paper-wrapped sandwich from its bag, it radiated the protective warmth that one needs on a scary, gray Sunday. Unfortunately, my first attempt at acquiring Dunkin’ was a massive failure as the restaurant’s ovens were no longer working, so the arrival of this sandwich was greatly anticipated.
Upon first examination, the Chicken Croissant was definitely not from the streets of Paris. If it were sentient, it would not have been able to muster a “Bonjour” to save its life. However, the chicken looked edible and the croissant, though weighing more than a croissant ever should, looked like it would hold the sandwich together. Upon first bite, I was neither elated nor disappointed. It was what I expected: just a sandwich. The croissant was neither flaky nor egregiously soggy, the chicken was comparable to the Bistro’s own crispy chicken, the cheese was forgettable, and the bacon was quite tasty. I felt no euphoric burst of flavor, but there was definitely something there. The bacon is by far the standout feature of the sandwich with its vaguely crispy texture and salty tang. Additionally, if the Chicken Croissant had no cheese, the world would be no worse a place. This sandwich is quite literally nothing more and nothing less than a $4.00 pseudo-brunch acquired via drive-thru.
Out of all the foods to try on a Sunday morning, the Chicken Croissant was definitely the right pick. With just the right amount of satisfaction and disappointment to offer, it succeeded in providing me sustenance and posing as a subject for review. Out of ten stars, I’d award the sandwich six and a half. Ultimately, if the Chicken Croissant was on a bagel or sourdough loaf, it would be a reasonably decent sandwich, but has anyone ever rapped the words: “hurry up with my damn everything bagel?”